Do you know how much I have doubted myself?
Not even slightly believed in myself?
Too many friggin’ times to count.
Oh! The painful inner dialogue.
Maybe you can relate?
And that’s the thing, when it’s happening to us, we think it is ONLY happening to US.
When in fact, IT happens to ALL OF US and more often then we would like to admit. But acknowledgment is the first step.
It’s that whole “You’ve got to FEEL it to HEAL it” thing. And before you can do that, you have to recognise ‘It‘ even exists.
‘It‘ being “I’ll never be good enough or amount to anything” inner dialogue. Yay, that.
It’s the furthest thing away from the truth but somehow it found its way in there and it’s our job to make sure that BS programming doesn’t wreak havoc in our lives.
I want to highlight that again…it’s nothing personal, it’s something we ALL go through. So no more poor me, it’s something we simply need to learn HOW to manage.
Here’s a 4 step TAKE YOUR POWER BACK process to help you:
1. Acknowledge how you are feeling without berating yourself further. Challenging but totally doable.
2. Take a few deep breaths and ask yourself, what can I do right now to make myself feel better?
(When you’re in this state you’re most likely “all up in your head”, therefore taking a few breaths will help you come back into your body and if you’re really lucky maybe you’ll start to connect with your heart. Putting your hands over your heart as you take deep breaths is also incredibly helpful, it will further signal your body to relax and allow you to more easily access your heart.)
3. Examples of what you could do to make yourself feel better in any given moment:
a) You can ask yourself what you were thinking of, focussed on or doing that made you feel that way? Self-reflection is helpful and can help you avoid the same pitfall next time by building self-awareness.
b) You can sit quietly and take deep breaths, go for a walk, take a shower or a nap, have a bath, journal or cry it out but put a time limit on it. You can workout, read, listen to music, dance, listen to an inspiring podcast or watch a cat video (I just had to!), etc.
c) Do whatever you need to do for you in that moment. Check in, listen and take some sort of action. Otherwise, you’ll stay stuck. And the longer it goes on for, the harder it is to get out of. There’s a way out but it’s only if you choose.
4. Do your best not to numb yourself with food, alcohol or narcotics. This will only prolong your suffering. Find healthy ways to soothe yourself.
In other words…
BE good to yourself.
Be exceptionally good to yourself.
Start to understand WHO you are and WHAT your needs are.
To thrive, what do you need to do for you?
Because YOU are your OWN responsibility. No one else is responsible for you and the quality of your life. It’s all on you.
As Glinda the Good Witch fromThe Wizard of OZ said:
“You always had the power my dear you just had to learn it for yourself.”